Sacrifice 1/1

by Erin Blair

TITLE: Sacrifice
AUTHOR: Erin M. Blair
CLASSIFICATION/CATEGORY: SRA--Story, Romance, Angst. CONTENT: Mulder/Scully Romance. Mulder/Other Romance. Scully/Other Romance.
DISTRIBUTION/ARCHIVE STATEMENT: OK to Gossamer, Ephemeral, MSRFanfic Cheerleaders Archive. Other archivists - please ask me first.
SPOILERS: Travelers. The End. The Beginning. SETTING: Season Six.
DATE: June 16, 2002 - first draft. Additional revisions and corrections: July - August 2003. Final Draft: October 28, 2003.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: To all of my readers for their support, and to the people who helped me over the years. Finally, I would like to thank Jen for her support. I would like like to thank everyone at the Haven's MSR folder for supporting me. Everyone is so wonderful there. :) DISCLAIMER: Mulder, Scully, and Skinner belong to Chris Carter; Natalie belongs to me.
SUMMARY: Natalie was Mulder's first love, but his heart belongs to Scully. However, Scully believes Natalie is the one for him and leaves him. Can Mulder find Scully?

Written by: Erin M. Blair

It was early in the morning when a woman knocked on the basement office door and Scully answered it. "Do I know you?"

"I don't think so," said the woman.

Scully ushered her into the office and found a chair for the woman. She watched as the woman sat down in the chair. "How did you get in here? Do you have a case?" She sat down at Mulder's desk, while the woman had her chair. She watched the woman's distant expression. Scully noted that the woman was a tall blonde with blue eyes.

"The guard let me through the building. He was such a nice man. I need to find Fox Mulder and it's rather urgent. My name is Natalie Mulder."

"Are you a cousin?" inquired Scully. She never heard the name before from Mulder's lips. She guessed the woman was some distant relative.

"No, I'm not his cousin; I'm his wife. Well, actually, ex-wife," said Natalie. "We were only married for a year until Diana Fowley entered the picture. He started to have feelings for her, so we divorced. We got married when he attended the FBI Academy."

"And you want him back," said Scully as she finished Natalie's sentence.

"Yes, I do. I've been looking for him for a few years now and I always wondered what would happen if I didn't leave him."

When Scully arrived at Mulder's apartment, she saw Natalie with Mulder. They were hugging in the hallway. Tears began to form in Scully's eyes as she viewed the couple. She knew what she had to do.

Mulder didn't see Scully leave the hallway.

"Mulder?" inquired Scully as she handed him a letter. "I know you were once married to Natalie..." There were tears in Scully's eyes, which threatened to break, as she struggled to keep her composure. This was a very hard decision to make, but she knew she had set him free. She loved Mulder more than anything in the world, but it would be hard for her to face him everyday on the X-Files, knowing he loved someone else.

Mulder took the letter from Scully and read it. "You want a transfer, Scully? After everything we've been through? You just want to walk out of here and out of my life?"

"Natalie loves you; she needs you," said Scully. She paused. "I love you, Mulder. I really do. This is the best thing that I could give you. It's better this way." She sighed. "I've already told Skinner about this."

"I've lost you before, Scully. I can't lose you again. Not like this. I don't love Natalie. I really don't. I love you."

"Do you think think that I want to walk out of your life? I don't. When I found out about Natalie, I was devastated. I talked to her, and she still wants you. I even saw you with her at your apartment."

Scully then turned around and opened the door to leave the basement office. She arrived at Skinner's office a few minutes later. She sat down on the chair and waited for her meeting with Skinner. Scully then heard Kim calling her name. "Agent Scully?"


"Skinner will see you now, Agent Scully."

"Thank you," said Scully, as she opened the door to Skinner's office. "Sir, did you receive my e-mail?"

Skinner nodded. "I saw your e-mail this morning. Are you sure you want a transfer? Quite frankly, I thought both of you are doing wonderful work on the X-Files. The ratio for solving cases has never been higher."

"Mulder and I are having problems -- personal problems."

"This wasn't the first time I've heard about it," said Skinner. "Mulder told me you are the best thing that ever happened to him." He read the transfer request which Scully had written the previous night. "Scully, I can't sign this. It says that you never want to to be a part of the X-Files and you don't want Agent Mulder to find you. I take it that Mulder didn't want to sign it."

"No, he didn't."

"I can't sign this, Scully. I think you know why. This is so unlike you. What made you -- I think this is about you finding Mulder's ex-wife, Natalie."

Ever since Scully left, Mulder had been a former shade of himself. He hadn't slept or eaten in days, and he hadn't taken care of himself. His energy levels went down, and Skinner was worried about him. He ordered Mulder to come to see him to have a talk and Mulder arrived, sickly. "Mulder, you have to take care of yourself. If Scully were to see you --"

"Scully wouldn't even care about me, Skinner."

"I think she would, Mulder. I didn't sign her transfer request. She resigned because I couldn't give in to her idea. She thinks you're involved with Natalie."

Mulder sighed. "She told me as much." He laughed bitterly. "Natalie left me as well."

"I can help you find Scully, Mulder," said Skinner with reassurance. "In fact, I have already found her. She's living in a town in California called Shasta under an assumed name: Emily Sullivan. However, she's engaged to a doctor named Christopher Garrison."

"I guess she wants to move on with her life," said Mulder dully.

"Mulder, can I ask you a question?"

Mulder nodded. "Sure."

"I know Scully loves you, but do you love her?"

"Yes, you know I love her. She doesn't love me anymore since she's going to get married. To her, Dana Scully's dead to the world."

"Mulder, you should go to her. I'll give you a much needed vacation, and you should fight for her."

The former Dana Scully arrived in Shasta, California under an assumed name, Emily Sullivan. Her auburn hair was now a dyed blonde and she was now a physician for the town's doctor. Hopefully, no one would find her there, especially Mulder. She had been seeing her new partner, Dr. Garrison, seriously and they were at a restaurant together. This was the day she was going to make a huge step in forgetting Mulder and moving on with her life - as Emily Garrison, not Dana Scully.

"You're very enchanting, Emily."

"Thanks," said Scully. "I'm glad I moved here from Washington DC. You know, I never thought I would say this. I wouldn't mind settling down here at Shasta permanently."

"I wouldn't mind it, either."

"Chris, would you marry me?"

"I thought you would never ask me," said Christopher.

Later, when she got home from her date with Christopher, Scully saw a message on her answering machine. "Scully, I know this is you. It's Skinner. I have a message from Mulder: he's going to come to see you very soon. It's important that you stay there."

A few minutes later, the phone rang only once before Scully answered it. Out of old habit, she used her old name as it seemed to be on her brain. "Scully."

"Scully, this is Skinner."

She had a feeling her old boss would call her. It had been months since anyone from her past contacted her.

When Mulder was driving in Shasta, he was in a car accident. A car from behind smashed into him, and he hit the steering wheel. His car ran off the road and hit the guard rail. He was taken to Shasta Community Hospital, the only hospital in Shasta, California. He was suffering from selective amnesia and didn't remember why he was there and who he was. He was taking a nap when a blonde Emily Sullivan walked in the room; she had just been assigned to Mulder's case - on the chart, his name was a John Doe.

The nurse explained the case to her. "He was in a terrible car accident; his car smashed in the guard rail. His brain shows signs of amnesia. He still has basic knowledge but he doesn't remember his name or why he's here." She paused. "Dr. Sullivan, maybe you can help him."

"I'll try."

She walked in and gasped. It was Mulder. She saw him look up at her. "I'm your new doctor on your case." She looked at his hazel eyes, and there was no recognition of knowing her. This troubled her deeply and she decided to use her real name, not her new name. "I'm Dana Scully."

"I'm sorry. I don't know much of anything right now. I do remember I was an FBI agent
working on the X-Files, but I can't remember my own name."

"Excuse me for a second," said Scully. She walked out of Mulder's room towards the nurse's station. "I'm on John Doe's case, and I have a question. Were there any effects to identify him? Driver's license? Watch? Luggage? Wallet? Anything that could help to identify him."

"Well, his car got wrecked pretty bad," said the nurse. "We do have some of his things." She gave Scully a package - a long manilla envelope - of Mulder's effects. "Your eyes look as if you know him."

Scully nodded. "I used to work with him when I was Dana Scully."

"Why did you change your name?" asked the nurse.

Scully didn't answer the nurse. She didn't think it was the nurse's business to know why she changed her name. When the nurse was out of earshot, she mumbled to herself: "I wanted to forget him. I thought he loved someone else."

Scully went to Mulder's room and gave him the envelope. "This is what they found on you."

"Thanks." He took the envelope and opened it. It had his wallet, his FBI identity card, his FBI badge, and his watch. He looked through his wallet, and his found out his name - Fox Mulder and his vital statistics. There were a few pictures of himself with Dana Scully. He assumed that she was his FBI partner. "Has anybody asked about me?"

"Why do you ask, Agent Mulder?"

"I would like to know if someone asked about me..." Mulder took out one of the pictures of Scully. "There must be some reason why I came here and I think it's about her, Dr. Sullivan. I was out of it before but I think I heard the name, Dana Scully."

"Mulder, I want you to picture me with red hair and then look at the photograph of Dana Scully."

"You're Scully," he whispered.

"That's correct, Mulder. I changed my name to Emily Sullivan and dyed my hair blonde. I wanted a new life - I thought you moved on with a woman named Natalie, but I guessed wrong."

"I guess you're taken," said Mulder as he noticed the engagement ring on Scully's ring finger.

Scully sighed. "I have been seriously seeing a partner in my practice. Dr. Christopher Garrison. He's a nice guy, but he's definitely not you." She paused. "In fact, I'll be marrying him tomorrow."

Scully looked at his hazel eyes, and there was a burst of recognition as his concussion started to clear up. She heard his voice call out to her. "Scully, you can't marry him. You tried to get away from me because you thought I was in love with my ex-wife. Natalie and I never worked out. I married Natalie because I wanted to get away from my own life - to disappear and to sacrifice my quest. I knew at the time I was foolish for doing so. Now I know who I am and who I love. Scully, you're doing the same thing as I did. You dyed your hair from red to blonde and changed your name just to escape who you are. I love you, Scully. You've had my heart and soul for a long time."

"Mulder, I found out from Skinner when he tracked me down about how I was wrong
about Natalie, but by then, I asked Christopher to marry me. I felt that my old life was over and I was a new person as Emily."

"Do you still want to be Emily Sullivan or do you want to return as Dana Scully?"

It didn't take long for Scully to decide who she wanted to be. "I want to be Dana

"Dana Scully-Mulder?" inquired
Mulder. "Do you want to marry me?"

"If you'll have me," said Scully. "I do have to call my wedding off. I can't marry Christopher when I'm in love with you. It wouldn't be fair to Chris. I love you, Mulder. Do you want me?"

Mulder nodded. "I do want you, Scully; I have always wanted you."

Scully left Mulder's room to go Christopher's office. She needed to tell him about Mulder and her decision to go back with him after he's discharged. She wanted to return to her new life. "Chris, there's something that I need to tell you."

"What is it, Emily?"

"I need to tell you the truth: I know I asked you to marry me, Chris, but I can't. I can't marry you because I love someone else. My real name is Dana Scully, not Emily Sullivan. When I left DC, I left my old life behind. I left my partner in the FBI because I thought he loved someone else. I realize now that it was very foolish of me to do so. I love Mulder with my heart."

"I am so sorry to hear that, Em---Dana. You were replacing this Mulder with me. You wanted to leave your old life, but what do you want now?" inquired Christopher.

"I do want to run anymore; I want my old life back. I want to return to my old life as Mulder's partner on the X-Files. I want to be with him because I love him." Scully paused. "I am going to leave Shasta in a few days to return to my life as Dana Scully."

Christopher nodded. "I had a feeling
there was something about you that
was so secretive, but I do understand. I know I wanted to leave my job behind sometimes -- to sacrifice my career in order to do something for the common good. You have been the best thing in my life, Dana, and I am
glad you will be happy with this Mulder guy. It's just that...I'm not happy
about how much money that I put in financing this wedding. All that money is gone
because you decided not to get married to me."

"You're upset because of all that money going down the drain? It was mostly
my money that I put in from my
career as an FBI Agent. You only put in a quarter of the money. Besides, it wasn't going to be an expensive wedding. It was just a date at the justice of the peace office. Nothing fancy."

"What am I going to tell my family, Dana? They were all going to come in from California. They bought their tickets and everything."

"I guess you're going to have to tell them that I had cold feet. I'm sorry, Chris. I didn't want to hurt you. I need to call off the wedding because I love Mulder. Although I do care about you, Chris, it's not enough to make a marriage work. I hope you know that."

"I wish I was the one you love," said
Christopher. "I don't want to lose you, Dana."

"It's not going to work, Chris. Deep down, you know that as well as I do."

Scully returned to Mulder's room. She noticed that he was watching television. "I told Chris that our engagement is off." She sat down at a chair next to Mulder. "I think it went well."

Mulder turned his attention from the movie towards Scully. "I'm glad, Scully. Are you sure he took it OK?"

"I think so," replied Scully. "I'm not sure he likes the idea of us not getting married, but I think he knows he can't win me."

"A guy always knows when he lost in
the game of love," said Mulder. "I
understand how he must feel. I never
liked losing you, Scully. Never."

"You'll always have me, Mulder. Always." Scully felt the warmth of lips and pressed against Mulder's lips for a kiss. She could feel the heat between them in that kiss. She knew that she was his forever.

When Scully came to Mulder's room the next day, she was back to having her red hair. "I'm back."

"I shall say so," said Mulder. He noticed that Scully's hair was now back to its normal red color.

"That was so stupid of me," said Scully. "I shouldn't have left you, Mulder. I should have asked why Natalie was at your apartment."

No words could express how much Scully and Mulder felt for each other. They
knew after they left for DC in a few days that they would be together. Mulder
and Scully would be partners in every
sense of the word.

End of Story

Feedback: Much appreciated. Send

Author's Notes:

This story took a year to write. The theme of this story was about sacrificing your old life in exchange for a new one. I wanted Scully to realize that she didn't need to run away from Mulder because of her finding out about Natalie. I wanted Mulder and Scully to be together in the end.

I hope all of you enjoyed this story and please let me know what you thought of it.

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Erin Blair