Title: Mulder's Little Angel
Date Posted: 10-31-03
Archive: FHSA, DIB, WWOMB, FONLX, RATB, Gossamer
E-mail address for feedback: Fan4Richie or Ursula4X@aol.com
Classification: Slash Humor
Series/Sequel: Is this story part of a series:
Web Site: http://www.fhsarchive.com/ursula/ Main FHSA Site: http://www.fhsarchive.com/ Mirror Site: fhsarchive.popullus.org/
Disclaimers: The X Files belongs to Cruel Chris Carter. No fish was harmed in the making of this story.
Notes: Found this lying around on my hard drive. Must be ripe now.
Warnings: Disrespectful use of angels
Time Frame: Never never
Mulder's Little Angel
"Mulder..." Scully said, her irritation beyond the inflection of anger. Instead, she sounded resigned, exasperated, and weary.
"Can't you take care of anything?" Scully added, scrubbing at William's face with a washcloth.
"The marker said it was permanent," Mulder admitted.
"Oh, great, I only had pictures scheduled. No problem. I mean, like Antonio's is Sears. I have to cancel and he won't have an opening for a year. If I can even get one. He's an artist not just a photographer," Scully said.
"Look, it's not the end of the world. Have the picture taken anyway. It's kind of cute. I didn't know William was artistic," Mulder said.
"And where did he see a picture of a devil?" Scully said.
"We were looking at my comic book collection. Hot Stuff..." Mulder grabbed the ancient comic book and showed her the cute little devil on the cover.
"Mulder, I don't care for my son being exposed to trivialization of religion like that," Scully said primly.
"Oh, bullshit," Mulder said.
William giggled and said, "Bullshit, bullshit."
Grabbing William's hand, Scully said, "Why do I bother? Mulder, you can't even keep a fish alive! From now on, you visit William at my house and only at my house."
Alone again, Mulder leaned in to see the lone occupant of the fish tank swimming happily around. He added a pinch of brine shrimp and said, "I can keep a fish alive. Huh, Alex."
The angelfish had looked so beautiful at the store. Mulder wasn't really shopping for such a large fish, but he when he saw the attendant heading toward the shark tank with the specimen in a scoop, he squawked, "Wait, what are you doing?"
"Feeding the shark," the pimple faced boy said.
"Why him? He's beautiful," Mulder said.
"Cause he's missing most of his left dorsal fin," the clerk said, "Plus, he gets the other fish stirred up. The males keep pursuing him. I guess he's a queer fish."
Laughing at his joke, the clerk continued off.
Mulder said, "No, wait, I'll buy him. Here."
Shoving money in the clerk's hands, Mulder said, "What do angelfish eat?'
"Brine shrimp," the clerk said, "pretty much any fish food."
"Great," Mulder said, grabbing containers of brine shrimp.
At first, Mulder had called the fish, Angel, but when he discovered the beautiful fish had eaten the last two guppies in his tank, he had changed the name to Alex. The beautiful fish seemed happy alone, swimming about gracefully. It was very tame and affectionate, swimming into Mulder's hand when he fed it.
It seemed to be impossible to kill. Even when Mulder had to be away for a week and forgot to ask anyone to feed Alex, the fish survived although it tried to bite Mulder's hand with its toothless mouth.
Alex-fish was a good listener. Mulder trailed a finger in the tank, playing gently with the fish. It must be at least seven years old now. He gave it another pinch of shrimp and said, "Just you and me, pal. Although to tell you the truth, I'd like a human companion. I'm tired of living here on my own. Scully though...it's like Lucy from Charlie Brown as a lover. High maintenance, indeed. You know what I wish? I wish Alex were alive. Now he was low maintenance, easy, to put it bluntly. All I had to do was crook my little finger and his pants would be down and he'd be backing into me."
Closing his eyes, Mulder remembered Alex the way he had first seen him. Mulder said, "If I had a second chance, I'd top the hell of him and make sure that I was the one holding his leash. My mistake was letting him think for himself. I should have taken him from Spender and killed him with kindness...once I showed him who was boss, that is."
With a final stroke on the smooth scales, Mulder said, "Nite, Alex."
Face crinkling with pain, Mulder said to the ether, "You too, Alex Krycek. Wish you were here."
A week later, Mulder noticed that Alex Angelfish wasn't swimming much. He had been slowing down a lot lately. By the second day of the fish's illness, Mulder was determined to bring Alex Angelfish to a vet or an ichthyologist.
The vet's office that he called actually knew of a fish specialist, although the man was surprised to be consulted about a cheap aquarium fish. Most of his consults were with exotics worth more than their weight in diamonds. He examined the angelfish and said, " I'm sorry, Mr. Mulder, there's nothing I can do. Seven years is as long as an angelfish lives. He's just old and winding down. You did a great job keeping him alive. Maybe you should try something more expensive now."
"I just like this fish," Mulder said, staring at the slowly moving fish.
Alex Angelfish was clearly on his last fins a day later. Mulder took the day off from his new job at the university to sit with him. Not even a fish should die alone, he reasoned. The fish rested in his hand, seemingly grateful for the support.
Once or twice, Mulder thought he was gone, but moving him around made his gills move again.
At last, there was nothing Mulder could do. Tears rolled down his cheeks and he lifted the angelfish out to bring him to the ocean for a Viking funeral.
Mulder's hand tingled and he thought that the fish had come back to life. He was running for the fish tank when the tiny corpse glowed. It beamed with pure silver light and the body stood up. It now had tiny wings with pearlescent scales instead of feathers. A tiny halo decorated its head.
Alex Angelfish said, "You kept good care of me and I was a wonderful fish therefore I have been made your guardian angel to take care of you."
"What?" Mulder said, wondering if he had licked a toad back or eaten a mushroom lately.
"Your guardian angel," the fish said, "Shut your mouth. With that big lower lip, you look like a perch. Now, first things, I suppose I should grant some wishes..."
"Isn't that supposed to be a genie? Not an angel?" Mulder asked.
"Don't look a gift giving angel in the gills," Alex-Angel-Fish replied. "There must be something you want."
"Well, I'd like my old job back..." Mulder said.
"Done," the angelfish said. "You start tomorrow." Glancing at a wristwatch that somehow encircled one fin, the angelfish said, "Well, that's enough for one day. Let's kick back, eat some brines shrimp, and watch some soft porn."
Mulder stared dubiously at the angelic fish and asked, "Ah, are you sure that you're allowed do that?"
"Come on, Mulder, bring it on," Alex-fish said.
Of course, it turned out that what Alex-Fish has in mind was a triple showing of a Disney film about a mermaid, Splash, and "The Incredible Mr. Limpet",
Oh, well, brine shrimp wasn't bad once you got used to the crunch...
The next day, Mulder thought it might have been a dream, but when he woke up the angelfish was dancing in front of him, its halo slightly askew and its scales shining with a heavenly light.
Buoyed by the presence of the angelic fish, Mulder took the bus to the Hoover instead of his new job. The security guard greeted him as if he had never left. When he went down the elevator, his files were all restored.
The only thing missing was Scully.
Mulder hesitated but after he spent an hour or two alone in the basement, he wistfully asked, "Hey, Alex? Could I get Scully back here too?"
The crooked fin waved and the door promptly opened to reveal Scully holding a hefty file and saying, "Mulder, surely you didn't expect me to complete this report on my own?"
"No, I'm glad to help," Mulder said. With a happy sigh, he settled down to fill out the case report. When Scully left to get coffee, Mulder whispered, "And a desk for Scully too?"
"No problem," said Alex-Fish.
By the end of the week, Mulder had enhanced a few things in his new life. His office was still in the basement, but now it was a daylight basement and he had a window seat. He and Scully had a cute new clerk who possessed a cute ass that they both enjoyed watching.
When Walter Skinner griped about his day, Mulder asked Alex-Fish to do something about Kersch. The next day, Kersh ran away with Mulder and Scully's cute male clerk. It was a sacrifice but worth it for Walter's happiness.
Life was good. Too damn good.
Mulder was bored.
Hanging out with Alex-Fish on his old leather couch in his spacious new apartment, Mulder looked blearily at the porn playing on his new DVD. The flat screen TV has beautiful resolution. The surround sound made it seem as if he was in bed with the two girls wrestling enthusiastically on the screen. It was a new DVD and it had a five chili pepper rating. It still wasn't doing a thing for Mulder.
"What I need is..." Mulder said. "What I need is someone like you. Sweet, helpful, and loving. But you know. A human."
"A female human?" Alex-Fish asked, adjusting the halo over his scaly head.
Thinking about Scully, Mulder said, "Ah, no, I was thinking...well, you know the guy you are named after?"
"Alex Krycek?" Alex-Fish asked.
"Yeah, him, but not a two timing traitor anymore," Mulder said. "Could you get me Alex? An Alex who will never leave me?"
"That might be a problem..," Alex-Fish said.
"Oh, come on, you got my job back. You made Scully fertile. You grew Skinner hair. You gave Jeffrey back his pretty face. You even gave a good try toward resolving the national debt. Don't tell me that you can't give me back one little Russian double agent?"
Mulder had no idea why Alex-Fish seemed sad. In fact, he had no idea how he knew that the fishy face was sad...
The next morning, Mulder looked around expectantly, but Alex was not lying next to him bed. As usual since his transformation, Alex-fish rested in his ethereal state next to Mulder's cheek. Mulder tentatively reached out and stroked the shining scales. As usual, he couldn't actually feel the cold flesh of his little friend. Folding his hands in steeple shape over his lean stomach, Mulder stared at the ceiling.
"What's the use of everything else you've given me if I'm lonely?" Mulder said.
"You don't have to be lonely," Alex-fish said.
With a wave of a fin, AD Skinner in his tighty-whiteys appeared, roses clutched in his hand.
"No, not in the mood for burly," Mulder dismissed.
Ah...poor Walter, he looked so disappointed.
John Doggett was up at bat next. He looked like the anxious virgin he was. Mulder was tempted. There's just something about a cherry that wants picking, but no.
When you want a taste of something sweet. Something spiced with danger and the flavor of old regrets....
"Send him to Scully," Mulder sulkily said. Lab boy looked infinitely grateful.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Ursula
|Home/QuickSearch + Categories + Schedule + Rules + FAQ + Links/Lists + Contact|