Rock of Gibraltar

by Pattie

Title: Rock of Gibraltar

Author: Pattie

Rated: PG

Category: A, Post-Ep., Mulder POV.

Spoiler: One Breath

Summary: Mulder, overjoyed that Scully was returned, faces a dilemma.

Archive: Gossamer. All others please ask. Usual places, go ahead.


Disclaimers: All X-Files characters belong to Chris Carter, 1913 Productions, and Fox Studios, but they are being sprung for a little daylight, and returned to their beds later. Any fictitious characters are merely that and really nothing more than thoughts generated by a few neurotransmitters.

Okay. She's back, and I wasn't the one to find her. I can live with that. Someone dumped her here at the hospital and took off. Left at the desk by person or persons unknown, and I don't doubt they want to remain unknown. I can deal with that.

I see her mother sitting steadfast at her bedside, and when she's not there, I am. Her sister wants to work some mystical vibes into Scully, to bring back her life force. Bill wants to skin me alive because she followed me in my quest. He doesn't know the half of what we've seen.

Whoever abducted her sure did a number on her systems. I can't bear to look at the greyness of her once porcelain skin, so I look at her the way I wan to see her: healthy, strong with a slight hint of pink in her cheeks, warm rosy lips, and perfectly smooth forehead. I need to see her zest for life, that gleam in her eye that sometimes fascinates me, instead of the deathly pallor that betrays her weariness.

When she recovers and she will recover, (shut up about taking her off of life support), I can't tell her that I know they did something to her that she could not deal with. As I sit herein the hallway, waiting my turn to see Dcully, I know this information would kill her if I told her, even if she regains perfect health.

How do you tell someone who thrives on family life, who wants a family of her own some day, that she has no chance of ever conceiving a child? That "they", whoever they many be, took all of her eggs, and that even if I can recover just one vial of them, they may not be good enough to give her a child?

"She's awake. You can see her," I'm told.

Small consolation when I consider the secret I may have to keep for the rest of my life--or hers.

The treatment, no matter how unconventional it was, is successful. And I have something to give her that she can cling to for hope. Something I have worn around my neck in the hope I would find her. A symbol of her faith.

I walk in, knowing this seems like a very long walk, and I know she's back with us. She's glad to see me. I place the gold cross around her neck. Even if it didn't help me find her, perhaps it will help her enough to understand what she might discover some day. As long as she has her faith, and I know where the remaining ova are, perhaps there is some way... when she's ready... until then, as her friend, I face a real dilemma.

I've decided not to tell her for now. It poses a real dilemma for me, but I must protect this person who has given me so much strength. I can't risk destroying my Rock of Gibraltar. For now, I feel I need to be that to her.


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