Something More Than Words by Katie Phillips October 2004
Disclaimer Info: I've borrowed Mulder and Scully for a little while and promise to return them unharmed.
Archive: I'll take care of Ephemeral and Gossamer but anywhere else is fine. Just let me know where.
Feedback: Makes me happy. My address is firstname.lastname@example.org.
Spoilers: Assumes a good knowledge of the show, especially Season Eight.
Summary: Am I the only one who thought that CC and Company left out a few minor details surrounding how Mulder and Scully dealt with his return? This story is an attempt to fill in some of the gaps.
Special thanks to sallie for another great beta job, and for providing me with the title for this story.
Shortly after his arrival home from the hospital
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be cold or ungrateful. I just... have no idea where I fit in right now. I just, uh...I'm having a little trouble...processing...everything." Mulder looks up at Scully, barely shrugging.
Scully opens her mouth to say something then shuts it. Nodding slowly, she manages a weak "Get some rest," before turning and walking out the door. Both are so wrapped up in their own thoughts and emotions, that neither realizes that they didn't even say 'goodbye.'
Six hours later
With great effort, Scully managed to pull herself up and out of the tub. Wrapped in her robe, she watched as the water slowly drained, and realized that it might be quite some time before she could soak in its warmth again. She knew that getting in the tub in the first place probably wasn't the best of ideas, but she had needed to unwind and reflect back on her afternoon with Mulder.
Scully understood, of course, that Mulder would need time to readjust to his surroundings. After all, she once lost several months of her life, just as Mulder had. It had been difficult to return to "normal" following her return, and she hadn't been pronounced dead, and been buried in the ground for several months. She was mad at herself, not him, for believing that they could take up right where they had left off.
Things between the two of them had never been better than in the last few weeks before Mulder's trip to Oregon. Scully wondered now if they could ever be that happy again.
"Well," Scully patted her belly as she addressed it. "I suppose I should fix us some dinner. I hope you don't mind a turkey sandwich; I don't think I have it in me to cook a real dinner tonight."
Scully pulled on one of Mulder's old t-shirts and caught a glimpse of her ever-expanding abdomen in the mirror. "God, no wonder he's in shock. I'm as big as a house." She sighed and padded her way out to the kitchen. She had her head buried in the fridge looking for the makings of dinner, when she heard a tentative knock on the door.
Scully straightened with some difficulty, and slowly walked over to the door. All the while, she tried to figure out how to send Monica or John on their way as quickly as possible. Both had taken up the habit of 'stopping by' to check on her practically every night. Scully pulled the door open without a thought, and gasped softly in surprise.
Mulder stood before her, looking very
"Hey, Scully." Mulder noticed the confused looked on her face. "Did I catch you at a bad time?"
Scully said nothing, merely shook her head and stepped aside as best she could, to allow him to enter.
"I was making myself a sandwich, would you like one?"
"Sure, I guess. I don't have much of an appetite yet, but my doctor," he gave Scully a little smile and a nod "told me to make sure I eat."
Scully gave him a small smile in response, and returned to her sandwich making in the kitchen. As she attempted to reach the mayonnaise sitting on the bottom shelf of the fridge, Mulder noticed her struggling, and bent over next to her and grabbed the jar.
"Getting a little hard to move around?" He smiled, as he handed it to her.
Scully sighed and took the jar. "Thanks. Yeah, my feet disappeared last week." She walked back over to the counter and began assembling the sandwiches. Mulder smiled when he noticed that she put a huge dollop of mayo on his, just the way he liked it. "What's that?" Scully motioned to the small bag Mulder was holding in his hand.
"Oh this?" Mulder suddenly sounded embarrassed. "It's a little something for the uber-Scully. To make up for me being such a jerk."
Scully stopped cutting the sandwiches and turned towards him. She eyed him suspiciously, remembering some of his previous gifts to her. With a raised eyebrow she took the bag and peeked inside, the crease in her forehead deepening as she realized what it was.
"Oh Mulderrr, where on earth did you find a miniature Yankee jersey?" Pulling out the small shirt she held it up, and tossed the bag onto the counter. "You've been out of the hospital for less than a day."
Mulder looked down at his shoes. "Actually I bought it ages ago. When you and I tried..." He gulped. "I guess I thought I'd be able to give you a miracle."
Scully's eyes welled with tears, and she gently placed her palm on Mulder's cheek. "You did give me a miracle."
Mulder's eyes grew large and he brought his hand up to cover hers. For a moment he simply stared at Scully's belly, his face filled with awe. "You mean the baby..." Unable to finish, he waved his hand in the general direction of Scully's abdomen. "But how?"
Scully's smile was an indulgent one. "As far I can tell, the old-fashioned way."
Scully closed her eyes as if to remember the exact moment.
Sometime in the weeks prior to Mulder's abduction
Scully poured herself a glass of wine, her third, and began to think again about how to fix the mess she had created with Mulder. Part of her knew from the beginning that running off with Spender had been a mistake, but another part of her felt like this was a chance she had to take. What Cancer Man had offered, if what he'd said had been true, it was worth the risk. If indeed he could give her the cure for every disease, who wouldn't be tempted? In wanting to believe him, Scully had acted more like Mulder than herself. Knowing that Mulder would be worried, angry, hadn't stopped her.
Almost from the beginning she and Mulder had bickered over details of various cases, over theories as to how things happened, often annoying each other to distraction. Not once during all those battles had Scully doubted Mulder's devotion to her as a partner and a friend. This time it was different.
Mulder could barely stand to be in the same room with her, and refused to look at her unless absolutely necessary. Even when they went together to check out Spender's office, Mulder had spoken only a few words.
Scully knew the next move was hers, if there was ever to be any reconciliation and return to their previous level of trust. She didn't know if she had it in her, though, to go to Mulder and beg for his forgiveness. A sharp knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts. When she looked through the peephole, she saw a stillagitated Mulder pacing outside her door.
Mulder never could leave anything alone, especially when he thought he was right. Still, Scully was surprised to see him. She had barely opened the door when he burst into her apartment, his manic energy filling the room.
Mulder watched her as she locked the door, squared her shoulders, and turned to face him. The combination of anger and lust in his eyes shocked her. Even more shocking was the way her body began to respond.
Mulder took a step towards her and despite her best efforts not to, Scully took a step back. "God only knows what that man did to you when you were unconscious." He took another step, effectively trapping her against the door. "The thought of his hands on you drives me crazy." Placing a hand on either side of her head, he lowered his own until it was scant inches from hers. "Don't do that again, Scully. Ever!"
Part of her screamed that she should be duly insulted by this particular sentiment. However, anger was quickly replaced by heat, as an unexpected arousal began to burn inside her.
"I can't lose you," Mulder growled before attacking her mouth. His voice was low and hoarse, but Scully wasn't sure if it rasped with anger or desire.
When he moved to kiss her, there was no gentleness in his touch. His mouth was hard and insistent, and Scully's reaction turned her legs to rubber. Mulder continued his assault on her neck, before opening her blouse with a single pull, scattering small pearl buttons across the room. The kiss was returned, and soon their passion threatened to overwhelm, and send them crashing to the floor. Scully offered little resistance when Mulder swept her up and carried her into the bedroom.
Several hours later
Scully opened her eyes and stretched like a cat. She smiled to herself as she looked at the clock, not at all surprised that she had fallen asleep for a few hours. A woman who had been ravaged so completely deserved some time to recuperate. She stretched again, thinking that tonight had been a true first in her
relationship with Mulder.
Mulder had always been a wonderful lover, always leaving her more than satisfied. Even so, in the months they had been together, Scully had never seen him truly let himself go. She knew why--he was scared he would hurt her, and he had. She touched the small mark he had made over her left breast. She'd have a bruise for at least a week, but it had been worth it.
Scully looked over toward the bathroom, and seeing the door open sat up in bed, wondering where Mulder was. Surely he hadn't gone home. Frowning, she slipped on her robe and walked out to the living room where she was greeted by the sight of Mulder, clad only in his boxers, attempting to stick his head under her couch.
"Lose something?" Scully trailed a finger up Mulder's back causing him to jump.
"Jesus Scully, you scared me!" Mulder turned and sat down, holding out his fist..
"Here." He dumped the contents into her outstretched hand.
Scully glanced down at the small pearl buttons and looked up at him, puzzled.
"I'm sorry about your blouse, Scully. I'll buy you another one; I promise." Mulder sounded like he was apologizing for breaking someone's window with a baseball. He glanced up at Scully for a second, and then turned his attention back to a small spot near his feet. "I'm sorry about everything else too, Scully. I had no right to go all caveman on you."
Scully nodded and sat down next to Mulder. She nudged him with her shoulder. "It was a little scary at first but it was unexpectedly exciting, too." He looked up at her shocked. "The fact that I reciprocated," she pointed to the large mark on Mulder's inner thigh, "should give you a clue."
Mulder still didn't look convinced. "I don't think I'd like our lovemaking to be like that every time Mulder, but there was something very arousing about seeing you lose control like that." Scully reached over and dragged one nail down her lover's side, and he hissed softly. One look at Mulder's boxers told her that she was achieving the desired effect. Her voice became huskier. "This time I want slow and gentle, Mulder."
"Scully, are you going to tell me when this happened or not?" The sound of Mulder's voice pulled Scully back to the present.
Handing him his sandwich, Scully walked over to the table and sat down. "The time after the Spender thing."
Mulder had taken a huge bite of sandwich, and stopped chewing as he considered what Scully said. "Got anything to drink Scully? No, don't get up, I'll get it." Mulder pulled a gallon of milk from the fridge and poured them each a glass. "I should have known. We did it, what three times, that night?" He clinked his glass against Scully's, and took a long drink.
"Actually it was four, if you include the time in the shower." Scully addressed this comment to her plate, and Mulder found her embarrassment adorable.
"Not bad for an old guy like me, huh?" He took another bite of sandwich. They finished eating in relative silence. When they were done, Mulder helped Scully clear the table. As she placed the last of the dishes in the sink, Mulder put a hand on either side of her, effectively trapping her against the counter. Lifting her chin with a finger he peered closely at her, as if trying to see something in her eyes.
"I stopped by to see Skinner before coming over here."
"Really?" Scully put a hand on his chest and Mulder backed up. "I need to sit down."
"Sorry." Mulder backed up and followed Scully into the living room where she sat down in an easy chair, propping her feet up on the ottoman in front of her. Mulder perched himself on the edge of the couch. "He told me everything you did after my abduction. How you searched for me, how you never gave up on finding me. I can't imagine what you went through, finding out you were pregnant and having to deal with it alone."
"I wasn't completely alone." Scully said somewhat defiantly. "I had my family; I had Skinner and my new partner."
Mulder gave her a tight smile. "Like you would ever tell them how you were really feeling." Scully simply shrugged in response. "I was a total ass this afternoon Scully..."
"Mulder, you don't have to..."
Mulder quickly cut her off. "Yes I do, Scully. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you, I promise." He walked over to where Scully was sitting. Picking up her feet, he sat down on the ottoman, her feet in his lap. "Starting immediately." He began to massage her left foot gently.
Scully sighed deeply. "Mulder you have no idea how good that feels." She leaned her head back and closed her eyes.
"I thought I'd lose my mind on that ship Scully." Scully opened her eyes and looked at him. He was staring off into space, his eyes far away. "I knew I had to focus on something to keep my sanity. That something was you."
Mulder shifted his attention to the other foot. "It was almost impossible to sleep; I spent hours thinking of you. I thought about how beautiful you looked when you laughed, and when we made love. I kept telling myself to hold on, that somehow you and I would be reunited, and I could tell you exactly what you meant to me."
He looked up and saw tears on Scully's cheeks. "A lot has changed since the day I was taken, Scully. I'm not the same man I was when I left for Oregon, but if you're willing, I'd like to give us another try."
Scully sniffed back her tears and nodded mutely.
"May I?" Mulder leaned forward, a hand hovering over Scully's round belly. Scully smiled and taking his hand in hers, placed it gently on the area where the baby was moving. The broad smile on Mulder's face warmed her heart. "So this is a little uber-Scully-Mulder, or should I say Mulder-Scully?"
Rising slightly to reach over Scully's belly, Mulder kissed her mouth gently. "Now before I figure out some way to screw things up again, I'm going to go home."
Scully smiled up at him. "Good night, Mulder."
Two weeks later
Scully turned the old rag doll over in her hands, examining it closely. "It's beautiful, Mulder. This is a treasure to pass down from generation to generation." Looking up, she noticed Mulder staring at her, with a strange expression on his face.
"Did I really give you the courage to believe, Scully?" His voice was barely above a whisper.
"Yes Mulder, you really did." Scully placed the doll gently on the coffee table, and reached over to stroke Mulder's face. "When we first met, I never would have believed a miracle like this," she patted her stomach fondly, "could happen. You've helped me believe in miracles, and so much more."
Mulder leaned over to kiss the top of her head. "Oh yeah? Like what?" He pulled back far enough to look into her eyes.
"Like believing that you are mine and I am yours." Scully gave Mulder a gentle tug toward her and their lips touched, lightly at first, but heating rapidly.
It had taken some work on both of their parts, but Mulder and Scully were finally
reestablishing their relationship. Holding hands and quick kisses led to longer, more passionate kisses. Kisses that finally matched the intensity of those they'd shared before Mulder was taken.
When they finally parted, Mulder leaned his forehead against Scully's. "Scully, I want to look at you." She frowned not quite
understanding. "I want to see all of you." Comprehension came, and Scully blushed.
"I'm the size of a whale," Scully protested, even as Mulder stood and reached a hand down to help her up. She took it, and said nothing more as Mulder led her into the bedroom.
Mulder moved back until he was leaning against the headboard, and maneuvered Scully, with a bit of effort, until she lay against him between his legs. She leaned into Mulder's chest and sighed, and Mulder wrapped his arms around her naked belly. He nuzzled her neck. "God, you were beautiful before, but now," he stroked her gently with one hand, "you're unbelievable."
"Unbelievably huge." Scully opened her eyes just a bit. "Did my doctor really tell you that it was okay to do...that?"
Mulder chuckled at her embarrassment. "Yeah, just before they released you, she pulled me aside and went over exactly what we could and couldn't do. I guess since you told her I was the father, she figured that you and I have had sex at least once. Luckily for you, I have a very creative mind."
"That you do Mulder, that you do. That was incredible."
"I only aim to please." He gave her a quick peck on the forehead before pulling the blanket up over them. Scully sighed and moved into his embrace, feeling truly safe for the first time since Mulder's abduction. She was on the verge of sleep when her eyes popped open.
"Mulder?" Mulder was almost asleep but the sound of panic in her voice woke him instantly.
"What's wrong, Scully?"
"What about you?"
"What about me?"
Scully reached back and patted Mulder in the general area of his crotch. "Don't worry about it, Scully. I doubt it works properly since all those tests anyway."
"I don't believe you."
A quick squeeze confirmed this. "Mulder, help me sit up and I'll..."
Mulder put a finger on her lips silencing her. "You're exhausted, and if our child is ever going to grow up to be center fielder for the Yankees, you both need to get some sleep."
Scully's eyelids felt like lead, although she tried to keep them open. "But that's not fair. I haven't done anything for you."
Mulder took her hand and kissed the knuckles ever so gently. "Scully, you've given me more than I could ever dream of. Now go to sleep." Too tired to argue any more, Scully let Mulder help her roll onto her side so he could spoon up behind her. "Besides, tomorrow night it'll be my turn."
End of story.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Katie Phillips
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