And Everything Since Then

by Pattie

Title: And Everything Since Then.

Author: Pattie

Rated: PG

Spoilers: The entire series and The Truth.

Summary: Mulder wonders why Samantha didn't appear to him at the Military Trial.

Category: Post-Truth, MA.

Archive: Gossamer, any other nice home. Please let me come visit!


Disclaimer: They're theirs etcetera, no money for me, and I have no right to infringe on copyright. Amen. On with it...

They're all gone. Dead. My friends, my secret allies, even my nemesis, Krychek. Dad and Mom are gone. Samantha. Samantha didn't appear to me all the time I was in that cell. She didn't appear to me during the trial. She hasn't met me on the road.

What is wrong with this picture? Maybe I'm just tired, sore and hungry.

X, Krychek, Frohike, Langley and Byers. All told me how to go on. Even helped me to see clearly when my vision was occluded by doubt and fear.

Senator Matheson. I understand his no-show.

Deep Throat. He had shown Scully what she needed to see. His job pretty well over with, I assume.

But Samantha? If she's dead, and I know this sounds like the ravings of a madman... but if she's dead, she would have wanted to help me by telling me to kick them in the ass, go for Paradise, given me something to go on, some shred of assurance.

Is she dead?

Scully lies sleeping as I wonder these things. We've had to run for our lives. This happened because of a journey I embarked upon many years ago. A crusade to find my sister led to the discovery of the most fearful scenario to my father and his associates. Colonization in 2012. All as a result of my search for Samantha. I figured I had closure. I swear I saw her come to me, hug me, and assure me that she had gone on to a more peaceful, painless plane of existence. Now I wonder. She can't be totally lost to me. She just can't.

This "cause", "obsession" as my superiors called it, led me to see certain truths. The worst case scenario was imminent. Still is.

Scully received her miracle. A child she had longed for. My child. Our child. He is alive, well, safe from harm in the arms of strangers to us. Our miracle had to go somewhere else to be safe, and I hear his mother cry for him in her sleep, hours after she's helped me flee those alien bastards and their mock court.

How many tears have I caused her? How many years, for that matter? We have to have a plan, get William. We have enough knowledge to beat them at their own game. We're not high profile. William is useless to them now. I want to make up every loss I've brought upon her. I need to do this for her. For us. The unspoken us. The silent, always understood us.

My sister is not a lost soul. She is not. Maybe, just maybe this wasn't the right time. And maybe it's not so much the hunt that I should be engaging in, but the faith that some day I will see her. Whether here, or, if I'm lucky, Heaven. If she hasn't gone, she'd be going there. If she HAS gone, then she is definitely there.

"Mulder?" Still tired from the long drive and her fitful night's sleep, with her hair tousled, my Scully calls me.

"Morning, Sleepyhead." I kiss her softly and sweep the hair from her eyes.

"Yes. A good morning. You're free." She smiles faintly. She can't be happy.

"What's wrong, Scully?"

"I was wondering that about you, escaped convict. You look so far away. Remember what you said last night?"

"That I want to believe the dead are not lost to us. That they still speak to us if only we'll listen." I think I rattled that off fairly well.

"Mulder, you also said you were willing to have hope. Trust that somewhere a more powerful being is on our side. Why do I see such sadness in your face? Why that far away look?"

"I was thinking about a little girl who made all this possible: you, me, William, our answers."

"Samantha?" She isn't even guessing. She knows me so well.

"Mmm hmm." I lean back on the bed and stare at the ceiling. "And everything since then. The best thing is you. No, make that the best two things are you and William." I smile, knowing that wherever she is she most likely is very happy for me- even if only in spirit.



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