Seeds of Thought

by Jenna

TITLE -          Seeds of Thought
AUTHOR -         Jenna (
FEEDBACK -       Worshipped, adored and cuddled!
SPOILERS -       Dreamland II, Triangle
CATEGORY -       MSR, Angst, Vignette, Missing Scene,
                 Scully POV
RATING -         G
DISCLAIMER -     Fox/Carter/1013...lucky bums.
ARCHIVE -        After-The-Fact, Heart XF1, MiJ,
                 MSR Preservation Society, Ephemeral
                 and Gossamer.  Anywhere 
                 else...please let me know first.
SUMMARY -        Scully ruminates Mulder's sunflower
AUTHOR'S NOTES - Written for the MSR Preservation
                 November "What I'm Thankful For"
                 challenge and the Dreamland II 
                 post-ep challenge at After-The-Fact.
                 No beta...mistakes are mine. 

It's ironic, especially considering it's almost Thanksgiving. Just two days ago, I stood in my mother's kitchen and discussed with her the things I had to be thankful for. However, I don't feel I have anything to be thankful for at the moment. I just gave Mulder the news that he is stuck in Morris Fletcher's life forever, and that nothing can be done to change the course of events that have turned our world upside down. What I wouldn't give to be able to take back my "Oh brother!" reply to his "Scully, I love you." I thought it was the drugs at the time, but now I know he was being truthful. He really does love me, and it shows in the way he looks at me now as I squeeze his arm. My heart is breaking as I turn to walk back toward the car and wonder if I will ever see him again. I hear him call my name, and it stops me in my tracks. I move to gaze at him one last time, and he does something that touches my heart in an even deeper way.

He scatters the seeds aimlessly into my upturned palm. I close my hand tightly around them so as not to lose a single seed. I stare down at my clenched sunflower seed-filled hand with a saddened expression, knowing these seeds are the last link to my life with Mulder. Looking up, I see the melancholy in his eyes. Retracing my previous steps, I somberly enter the car and Morris drives away.

Sitting in the darkness of the car, I unfold my palm and the seeds beckon my thoughts. I stop to consider what the multiple packages of seeds in Mulder's life have meant to me. I have always kept them in stock at my apartment for times when he would come over to talk about a case or just to spend time with me. I would always get mad when he would spit the shells out in a coffee cup and leave them for me to clean up. I ponder how strange it will be not to have that happen anymore. Up until this minute, I did not realize how important those seeds were in my life, or how important Mulder really was in my life for that matter. These few seeds are the last time I will ever know what true happiness and love really are.

In a split second, it dawns on me what I have to be thankful for finally. Now when I say my prayers on Thanksgiving Day, I will be sure to be thankful for these simple sunflower seeds I hold in the palm of my hand. They have now made me realize how life truly has been a wonderful place since Mulder has been in it.

Later the next morning, once again my deep thoughts about the seeds are interrupted by Morris' ramblings. I wonder if he realizes that I'm not listening to him. We pass miles of endless desert highway as he drones on about nothingness.

My eyes spring upward with hope as we proceed past the gas station which had previously been burnt to the ground. Much to my surprise, it is still standing, completely intact and without harm. I smile inwardly as I finger the seeds in my pocket, and realize that there may be a small chance that Mulder will come back to me, and that maybe my Thanksgiving Day is coming a little early this year.

-The End-

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